it's just a number, they say

Tuesday, December 17

And whoever they are, they're right.

We received our results yesterday for our final exams - which actually seemed like a century ago, since it seems so much time has passed since then (okay, it's only been a month, but a month of no obligations sure feels gloriously long, man). I've never put much emphasis on the ATAR (our overall score), in fact it never even really crossed my mind until a friend asked, "what ATAR do you want to get?" And I had no idea. Obviously I knew I needed a certain score to get into the course I wanted, but it never clicked with me to put much emphasis on it. As clichéd as it sounds, I just wanted to do my best, give it my all and that's all that mattered to me. I've never liked numbers, anyway.

But even so, as I keyed in my student code and password to get my results online, I had a little bit of anticipation built up in me. And when I saw my ATAR... I was overjoyed. In fact, I barely ate for the rest of the day, because I was just so full of happy.

I wasn't the only one, of course. It was good to hear that others were happy with theirs too... but there were also friends who weren't quite happy with theirs. Even though to me, they did BEYOND AMAZING, but to them, it was just short of their expectations. People feel what they feel, and no amount of reassurance can change someone's disappointment in themselves--I've learned that through others and through myself. But to those of you who do feel slightly down about your score, I just want to say--don't be too hard on yourselves. We are often our worst critic. Perhaps your score won't get you the scholarship you wanted, or your first preference, but it's not the be-all and end-all.

You're probably thinking, who is she to say that? She's happy with her score. And you're probably right. But mum did pose a question to me last night, and she asked, "what if you didn't get an ATAR that scored you a spot in Arts?" And I thought about it. I would worry, for sure, and probably agonise a little (okay, a lot) over the fact that I won't get into my first preference. But, I wouldn't regret. Looking back at all the wonderful memories I've had this year, I know no ATAR could ever amount to the incredible times I've had with my peers throughout the year, and the memories we've carved together.

I mean, let's be honest, twenty years from now, you probably won't even remember what you got for your ATAR. Knowing my poor memory, I know I would. And that's just it... we're going to go on to do more things with our lives, that these few digits, this mere number, is not going to amount to much. A number could never define who you are, it's what you do with it that does. So let's do it, let's kick ass in the year ahead and beyond, people!


Duncan D. Horne - the Kuantan blogger (大哥) said...

Exam results are very quickly forgotten when you get into real work, believe me :)
More important is to continue developing personal skills.
But congrats on the great score anyway!

Duncan In Kuantan